Gotta Testify

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Gotta Testify.

I've made it to the halfway point in this challenge, and I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good about myself. If you want to learn more about #30Layers30Days, visit All The Many Layers.

Claim your miracle. Give thanks for something you yearn for that you have not received yet. Imagine how it will feel to have this dream, goal, miracle happen and write your gratitude as if you have already received it. Put it into words before it comes to life. This is about believing in your miracle and writing it into existence.

My miracle is to be debt free. I know that by relying on God all things are possible, and I know that I'm not where I need to be, but I thank Him anyway!

Being debt free is something that I definitely need. I want to be able to have extra money and not live paycheck to paycheck. I want to be able to take my kids away whenever I want. I want to be able to stay at home with my kids, instead of sending them away for nine hours a day.

When that miracle happens, I will have more time to spend building my relationship with my children and God. I will have time to spend helping others and doing the things that I love to do. I will have a life.

As hard as it is, I believe. I believe that it will happen and I believe that it will be soon.

Mirror Mirror

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Mirror Mirror.

Compliment yourself on your least favorite physical feature. Find the beauty in it and describe it.

I would like to compliment myself on my body. I don't care for my body because of the problems I have with acne and this "baby fat". I know it's not that bad; but when I look in the mirror, it's all I see.

Truth is, there's an understated beauty here. I love my eyes. I think they are the windows to my soul, and they say a lot about my true character. They are always bright and filled with joy and love. I definitely smile with my eyes.

I also love my smile. This smile has brightened many days for friends and strangers. It's what makes me approachable. I have the illusion of always being happy. ...And my teeth are pretty ((At least I get that a lot...))!

I love like my weight. I struggled with gaining weight for the majority of my life. I'm content at 130 pounds. And it's lovable weight gain, too ((At least the man loves most of it))! It's mostly in my midsection, but I have a lil' booty going on...and HIPS!! After I hit up those ab workouts ((on my terms, and my terms only)), I feel like I'll love my body even more.

What I'm realizing about these things is that they are petty. They can all be changed, but I have to be willing to put in the effort to change them.

Been There, Done That

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Been There, Done That.

I absolutely did LOL. If you've been following my self discovery journey, you would know why. But you know what? I'm getting comfortable with talking about this part of my life ((That's good, right?!)). Here we go!

What have you overcome? How can you use your experience to help someone else? How can you turn something that caused you pain into something that gives you purpose?

Okay! So before I told the story about committing adultery ((I really hate calling it a story, by the way)). When I 'fessed up to my husband, we fought. Really...fought... I ended up with a fractured nose. I stayed with my husband. Not because I was afraid of leaving him, but because I felt like we could work through our problems by increasing our level of communication and, of course, counseling. And you know what? It worked.

We were able to overcome a situation that most married couples can't. Not only did we fall back in love with each other; we developed a new level of trust. And in case you're wondering, no. He hasn't laid a hand on me since that night.

I haven't been using my experience because I was ashamed. Not about the fact that he hit me ((even though he should have kept his hands to himself)), but because of what caused it happen. I know so many married women who are considering stepping out on their husbands because they aren't feeling loved or understood. I have a story to tell about the not-so-glamorous side of mediocre sex with someone other than your husband ((No lie... Hard to enjoy when you know it isn't right. Trust me.)).

I want to help people. I really do. I feel like people need to hear from someone who has experienced what they are going through firsthand. Yesterday, I wasn't ready for that. This morning, I wasn't ready for that. But now at this moment, I can confidently say that I am ready.

**stepping off of the soapbox**

Praise

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is: Praise. "When we receive love and praise for things that are deeply meaningful to us, it affirms a calling we have inside that we may or may not fully understand. The goal of this exercise is to give yourself more credit and pay more attention to the light that you naturally offer to the world ((Quoted from GG Renee))."

First, what do people praise you for? What compliments do you get most often? Do you receive these compliments graciously or do you deny them and push them aside, feeling unworthy?

People praise me on my wealth of knowledge when it comes to anything tech. People compliment me on my ability to solve any tech problem within a matter of minutes. And I do receive those compliments graciously. Why? Because I worked hard to gain that knowledge. And I deserve it. People also compliment me on my knowledge of the bible. Those compliments... I push them aside. I'm not anywhere close to where I need to be spiritually, so it definitely doesn't feel well deserved.

Second, what praise do you most love to receive?

I love all praise. I'm more of the type to fly under the radar. I keep a lot of what I can do to myself because I have a fear of not being able to live up to people's expectations. It makes me feel great when people recognize me for what I'm good at, and it presses me to continue to move forward with my dreams.