Authenticity

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Authenticity.

What does the word mean to you? What makes it so hard for you to be yourself, to be seen, to be open and express yourself your way?

Authenticity is about being genuine. To me, it's a word that describes being real; not only with yourself, but with others, as well.

What makes it hard for me to be myself? I would have to say other people's perception. I care a lot about what people think of me. And I mean all people. It seems like a lot of people wouldn't really like me if I was... me! I know that isn't true, because I'm actually pretty awesome! I want people to like me. I want people to think I'm awesome ((Yeah, I'm petty like that!)). I don't want people to judge me. I want to be able to control people's opinions about me by only letting them know what I tell them. But what's real about that???

My issue is that I can't let go of that control. I'd rather be the person that I think is liked and well received. Truth is... I need to live up to what I believe in whether people like it or not.

Heartstrings

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Heartstrings.

What do you want to change about the world? What cause or need tugs at your heartstrings the most?

The world is a terrible, terrible place. If I could change one thing, it would be the amount of help available to those of us that are trying to help ourselves. That's the biggest thing that tugs at my heartstrings: seeing people who are working themselves to death struggle.

It's not because I'm one of those people, or that I'm jealous of people who get government assistance. I'm more upset about the fact that our ((those of us who have jobs)) tax dollars are being given to some quite undeserving people. I mean... We all know who they are... Those perfectly capable of working, but find it easier to stay at home and collect a check and free food every month. The same ones who are in the club every weekend, in a new outfit, while their children looks like "who dun it and why". I don't think it's fair to the rest of us. We work hard, but how many of us can afford to buy new clothes or Jordans every week? How many of us can afford to spend $800-$1000 on groceries every month? I know I can't! How many of us will actually get help if we applied honestly?

In my opinion, this system is flawed. It needs to be fixed. I don't like seeing my family struggle. My parents applied for government assistance. My mom was receiving unemployment, and my dad is receiving disability. They were offered less than $5 a month to help them out. Thirty to forty years of working and no help when they really needed it. Where's the justice in that? A change needs to be made, but where do we start?

Limitations & Affirmations

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Limitations & Affirmations. Limiting thoughts have a way of popping up when we are trying to rise to our next level. These thoughts tells us that we can't do it, it will be too hard, or we're not enough or we're too much ((Quoted from GG Renee)).

Do you think your personality, appearance or background holds you back? What kinds of limitations do you harbor in your mind? Counter each limitation with a positive affirmation to reverse it.

I do believe that there are things about me that hold me back. I'm not happy with my appearance. I haven't finished my degree. I'm shy around new people, and I'm a procrastinator. I rarely have faith in myself, and I make a lot of excuses as to why I can't do something.

As far as limitations that harbor in my mind... I have plenty! As far as countering them with a positive affirmation... Let's give it a shot!

  • People look at me differently because I still suffer from acne.
    Looks aren't everything. I'm still a beautiful and smart young woman. Most people don't even see the acne when looking at me. They are more impressed by my talents.
  • I can't do anything different in my career because I don't have a degree.
    There isn't anything ((Unless you count how ridiculously expensive it is to attend college)) stopping me from going back to school. My husband is taking his final exam for Fitness Trainer Certification. I've taken 95% of my core classes. I have an awesome support system. My father and mother both went back to get degrees, so why can't I? On the other hand, I've done quite well for myself without a degree. First hand experience ((Which I have a lot of...)) is everything.
  • I don't have what it takes to be self employed.
    This isn't true at all. It's the procrastinator in me that doesn't want to be self employed. I have a fear of not being able to meet expectations. There's a level of creativity that lays dormant within. All it needs is for me to believe in myself, like others believe in me.

Those are three of my main limitations. I can do so much more if I actually put my mind to it. I should stop being comfortable with my current mindset and make some changes. I need to make some changes.

Metaphor

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is Metaphor.

Decide on a visual image to be a symbol of your peace and success. When you see this symbol, let it be a reminder of how far you have come, how grateful you are presently and the infinite possibilities to come. What is the meaning of this symbol for you and how does it represent your journey?

I chose a lamb. To me, a lamb represents gentleness and purity. It's also a symbol of Christ. It's a reminder that I can do anything through Christ and that no matter what the situation is, I should not blow up. I should remain calm and watch my tone ((Because I have a real problem with that...))! I should remain pure to myself to get to where I want to be in life. There's no need to keep sugarcoating life. Not being real with myself leads to denial about issues that are real.

Oh Happy Day

Today's #30Layers30Days prompt is "Oh Happy Day".

Describe your ideal day in the life. How would you spend your day? What type of work would you do? What would you eat and who would you be around? What would you wear and where would you go? Most importantly, how would you feel?

My ideal day would be spent on the beaches of Tampa, FL. I can't say that I'd be doing any work, though. Simply because I am in need of a vacation. A serious vacation! My husband would definitely be there. It would be a great opportunity to get away and fix some things between us. I can see us having a picnic in the sand with the ocean beating against the coast and a light breeze. I would pack healthy things for us to eat. Definitely wouldn't leave out the chocolate covered strawberries. I'd be wearing a cute one piece suit... The cutout style in black.

I would feel happy. A lot of issues that I have with life is that I never take the opportunity to get away. I need that in my life. For my sanity, and the sanity of others around me.

I must find a way to make this happen.