I came in to this year with disappointment and excitement. I’m disappointed with my current state of employment, but excited that I only have a year left in school. I decided to buckle down and increase the number of courses that I’m taking. It’s going to be hard work, but I’m determined to have a degree sooner rather than later.
My job? I hate it. I hate that it keeps me away from my family. My old boss extended the offer to come back, but I don’t want to be a paper pusher. I want to do something…meaningful.
I was supposed to choose a word for 2018, and I came up with…nothing. LOL! Absolutely nothing. I currently feel defeated.
I did opt for goals to accomplish instead of resolutions. Let’s be honest…how many of us can really stick to a resolution? I felt like creating goals was a much better alternative. I plan to create a vision board for my office space.
I’m trying to make 2018 the year of change. I just have to find the motivation to make those changes, because they won’t make themselves.
December 10. The rain has cleared and blue skies are back. I am one day away from Finals Week. One week away from being done with this semester from hell. I haven’t had a life outside of Humanities and Precalculus. As of yesterday, I’ve completed 65+ hours of Precalculus work and spent countless hours working on content for my Humanities course. I abandoned social media, posting less than 10 pictures a month. I hadn’t touched my planner in 4 weeks prior to yesterday. My life has consisted of going to work, homework for myself and the kids, and sleep.
I decided to switch my minor back to Programming. Over the summer, I switched it to Web Development, because I felt like programming was too hard. What I forgot is that I LOVE programming, and that I already know how to develop websites. I decided to stop being a punk and do what I need, instead of what’s going to be easy to get.
Work sucks. In two weeks, I’ll be working the late shift and won’t see my kids for a week. While working in IT is my dream… Working for a help desk isn’t. I’m the only woman in my department. I earned an exceptional rating for my yearly review, but I still feel like the world is against me. Everyone seems to have placed themselves in a competition with me. My supervisor says this is a good thing because I make the team better. Sometimes I have to take errors that are mistakes on someone else’s part because,
Even though you had a few points taken off, and we know that this isn’t correct, we have to keep it. Your scores are the highest on the team. If we were to dispute this, it would hurt the team.
Yeah, still don’t see how that’s my fault, but it is. I’m frustrated. I want to move on, but I keep feeling like now isn’t the right time. I keep feeling like I should finish my degree before I try something different. I keep waiting and waiting… For what?
I’m a slacker, lol! But I really do have good intentions when it comes to blogging. Life has been coming at me in every direction these days.
My job has implemented rotating schedules. The range of shifts that I work makes it hard when it comes to my family and school. I’ve been making it work, but I’m trying to explore other options as well.
Since the last time I blogged, I’ve sold both of those B6 traveler’s notebooks. I’ve settled nicely into another brand of traveler’s notebooks by Salty Katie Co. I’ve also set up a new space in this tiny apartment that will be dedicated to photographing products. It’s big enough to fit some of my studio equipment and a nice wood table that we inherited. The table is also sturdy enough to double as a bench, so win!
We’ve taken trips to Orlando, Florida and Washington, DC. It’s been great for the kids to get out of the city and see more of the world. In Orlando, we went to a small water park and explored some of the city. In DC, I was attending the Black Women Who Plan And Create National Conference. We had Stephanie Fleming from Me and My Big Ideas and Carie Harling from Dispatches From The Frat House as keynote speakers. J and the kids went to Baltimore, MD before visiting the Smithsonian Zoo. The next day, we visited the National Museum of African American History before walking to the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. I can’t wait to go back and explore more of the city. There was so much that we couldn’t do in the day that we had.
I think we are done traveling for 2017, but next year we are making plans to visit Jamaica and Vegas!
Once upon a time, I lived for blogging. Sometimes I wrote multiple posts a day, detailing every single aspect of my life. That was a time when oversharing was the norm. Back when everyone was creating a blog as a new come-up.
I’ve never been big on monetizing my blog, even though I tried once or twice. I find myself marching to the beat of my own drum… Easily turned off by anything that starts to feel more like a job than a hobby. That’s where I was with blogging.
Thirteen years later and here I am again. Feeling an urge to own my space on the web again. Feeling an urge to get back to what makes me happy. This year has been amazing for me. I have a new job. School is going well. I’ve started to find out who I really am, and started to do things that interest me.
I lost myself in being a mother and wife. I let those things become a crutch… An excuse as to why my life was boring. I found myself becoming this unrecognizable person, losing the light in my eyes.
So I’m back again. Hopefully for a while, but I can’t make any guarantees. At the end of the day, this is a part of my journey. I’m trying to birth a vision that I’ve had for some time. It’s time to continue finding myself, and I hope that you’ll stick around for the ride.