December 10. The rain has cleared and blue skies are back. I am one day away from Finals Week. One week away from being done with this semester from hell. I haven’t had a life outside of Humanities and Precalculus. As of yesterday, I’ve completed 65+ hours of Precalculus work and spent countless hours working on content for my Humanities course. I abandoned social media, posting less than 10 pictures a month. I hadn’t touched my planner in 4 weeks prior to yesterday. My life has consisted of going to work, homework for myself and the kids, and sleep.
I decided to switch my minor back to Programming. Over the summer, I switched it to Web Development, because I felt like programming was too hard. What I forgot is that I LOVE programming, and that I already know how to develop websites. I decided to stop being a punk and do what I need, instead of what’s going to be easy to get.
Work sucks. In two weeks, I’ll be working the late shift and won’t see my kids for a week. While working in IT is my dream… Working for a help desk isn’t. I’m the only woman in my department. I earned an exceptional rating for my yearly review, but I still feel like the world is against me. Everyone seems to have placed themselves in a competition with me. My supervisor says this is a good thing because I make the team better. Sometimes I have to take errors that are mistakes on someone else’s part because,
Even though you had a few points taken off, and we know that this isn’t correct, we have to keep it. Your scores are the highest on the team. If we were to dispute this, it would hurt the team.
Yeah, still don’t see how that’s my fault, but it is. I’m frustrated. I want to move on, but I keep feeling like now isn’t the right time. I keep feeling like I should finish my degree before I try something different. I keep waiting and waiting… For what?
Overall, I’m tired of being an adult right now.