2023 Year-End Reflection

Once again, I entered 2023 with the best intentions for this blog, but failed miserably. If I'm being completely honest, adulting is hard. I struggle to find balance, and end up just living and going through the motions. 2023 was one of the hardest years of my life. It just seems like what started with so much promise all burned to the ground within a matter of months.

2023 Reflection - The Good

  • I ended the year finding out that I got yet another promotion. As of 1/2, I am now a supervisor.
  • I'm 5 months pregnant.
  • I made it through a depression and didn't die.

2023 Reflection - The Bad

  • I didn't journal or plan at all this year.
  • My year-end financial status is TRAIN-WRECK. I didn't stick to my budget at all. The medical bills from this pregnancy are also draining my pockets.
  • I fell off on my fitness journey after getting pregnant.
  • I lost sight of who I am.

That brings me to my focus of 2024: FOUNDATION

Going into 2024

Q. In what areas do I need help?
A. In 2024, I really need to focus on my finances. I know I said this yesterday, but I mean it more than ever. I need a stricter outlook on my finances going forward, especially with a new mouth to feed.

Q. How can I do a better job at asking for help?
A. One of my major flaws is feeling like I have to suffer in silence. I can start by accepting that no one is perfect. Everyone needs help at some point. Even if that's advice on things that have worked for others.

Q. How can I slow down?
A. In 2024, I want to focus on rebuilding my life and figuring out what that looks like going forward. I want to build a strong foundation to support myself and my children. I want to take things slow and understand that building a strong foundation is not a quick and easy process.

Q. How can my connections be deeper?
A. In all honesty, I want to spend 2024 focusing on my family. I understand my need for companionship and friendships, but I feel like I need to get back to focusing on who I am as a person, as a mother, and as a friend...eventually, a lover.

Q. How can I move more?
A. In 2023, I started out on the right track. I mean, a girl looked GOODT. Then with the loss of one pregnancy that resulted in depression, I fell off and never found my way back. I want to start fresh in 2024.

What about you? What are your goals for 2024?

WOW! I Really Did It!

I did it! I can't believe I did it, but I fucking did! What might you ask?! I restored every blog post from 2005 to present day. I used that fancy degree to read through thousands of lines of SQL and restored the posts using PHPMyAdmin.

Am I nervous about it?

Absolutely! Many years ago, my blog was found by my ex-husband's family, who made it their business to tell him about the posts I've been writing. In a rage, I deleted every single post and quit blogging. Since then, it's been an occasional semi-annual update (on a different domain), but nothing like I used to do.

Why I did it

I did it because my life story is just that. MINE! My posts throughout the years remind me that I'm not perfect, and that's okay. Over the last three days, I've enjoyed restoring each post. Going through my photos and reliving moments. Shedding real tears, but also laughing and remembering the good times.

I've built so many bonds while doing what I love... Writing. Writing has been my joy for as long as I can remember, and I hate that I let people take that away from me. I hate that I let judgmental people keep me away from my first love, and quite frankly, I'm glad to be back.

Life has changed so much, and I can't wait to share the new journey.

T-R-A-S-H

If I had to think of one word to describe 2023 so far? TRASH! The first half of this year has been thee absolute worst. Personal life? Trash. Work life? Trash. I, dead ass, hate it here.

I said I was going into 2023 focusing on my finances. Yeah... Didn't happen. Not that I didn't want it to happen, I just lost focus of my word for 2023: ACCOUNTABILITY.

I said I wasn't going to accept people's bullshit, just to accept even more bullshit than ever. Again, a lack of ACCOUNTABILITY.

All that to say that this year so far has been rough. Here's to hoping for a better last half of the year.

2022 Year-End Reflection

You know... I always blog with the best intentions of continuing throughout the year, but the past few years have been a real struggle. It started with finding out that my ex's family and friends were reading the blog and then discussing their findings amongst their social circles. My blog no longer felt like a safe space for me, and I've found myself censoring my words to appease people who really do not matter.

Then, after my divorce, I found myself spending more time living (if I can call it that) and less time journaling. Turns out, my lack of journaling and planning has affected my ability to hold myself accountable for my actions.

Sidebar: Just like that, I've found my word for 2023: ACCOUNTABILITY

2022 Reflection - The Good

  • I earned my Master of Science in Information Technology from NC A&T. That degree earned me a promotion and a very nice raise, pushing me into the field of IT Management.
  • I survived my first full year as a single woman. I even managed to slide in a few dates this year.
  • I did a decent job on my fitness journey. I lost a total of five pounds, but we'll talk more about this in "The Bad".
  • I finally completed the Budget Summit that I was supposed to attend earlier this year.

2022 Reflection - The Bad

  • I didn't journal or plan at all this year.
  • My year-end finance audit indicates that I spent $84K... On what?!
  • I fell off on my fitness journey in October and didn't meet any of my goals for the last quarter of 2022.

Going into 2023

Q. In what areas do I need help?
A. In 2023, I really need to focus on my finances. With my new position, I am no longer eligible for overtime pay. I need a stricter outlook on my finances going forward.

Q. How can I do a better job at asking for help?
A. One of my major flaws is feeling like I have to suffer in silence. I can start by accepting that no one is perfect. Everyone needs help at some point. Even if that's advice on things that have worked for others.

Q. How can I ask for more of what I want?
A. In 2023, I'm making a promise to myself to not accept other people's bullshit. I'm no longer settling for being a "YES" person, and I'm no longer going with someone else's flow. I can ask for more of what I want by setting my expectations and not backing down from them.

Q. How can I slow down?
A. My life is pretty slow. However, I am an impulse buyer. I can slow down, financially, by questioning my spending. Is this something that I need? Is this a purchase that can wait? Is there enough in my Sinking Funds bucket, or can I take this money away from something else. Remind myself that what I'm spending today affects Future Me.

Q. How can my connections be deeper?
A. In 2022, I spent little to no time with my friends. I can deepen my connections by spending more time with my friends. I can also benefit from being a little less self-centered.

Q. How can I move more?
A. In 2022, I did a pretty good job at working out. I fell off in the latter part of the year, but I would like to commit to some form of physical exercise at least 5 days a week.

What about you? What are your goals for 2023?

Happy New Year!

WOW! It is OFFICIALLY 2022! I really wanted to make a year-end post, but lately, I’ve been struggling trying to find the words.

The last two weeks of 2021 were very eventful. My ex-husband moved the rest of his things, so I took the opportunity to do a deep clean of my space. The kids and I washed every single piece of laundry. We went through every cabinet, closet, and drawer to clean out things that were no longer needed. We cleaned every room from top to bottom, and did some rearranging. I got a new bedroom set and moved the old one to my daughter’s room. Her old bed moved into my son’s room to upgrade him to a king size bed. I bought new dinnerware and silverware sets. And I just feel GOOD!

This is the first time in my 36 years that I have truly lived without another adult. I thought I would be nervous about him leaving for good, but I’ve been sleeping fine at night. Overall I’m in a great space. I still have lots of decorating to do… I haven’t quite decided on a color scheme, but Pinterest is my new best friend.

The last step is my name change, which is still being held up by the Social Security Office being closed due to COVID. I was hoping to get it done before year-end, but… Omicron.

On to some more positivity…

I ended the year with a promotion! I am officially the Lead Trainer for my department. I have so many plans to update the department’s training program, and I cannot wait to get started.

I feel so good about 2022! I’m going into this year with a fresh start and a new outlook on life. I’m going into 2022 as a free woman. This is the year where I finally focus on myself and getting to know me.

I hope you all have a wonderful 2022, and make some meaningful goals for yourself.

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